may I have a word with you?

Hey you. Do you know that youre ruining my life? I mean, I let you in, I did, when I was what... 10? Yeah yeah... you were my friend... you were. You showed me not to give a fuck and how to fight back... but youve taken over...
can't you see that I dont need you? That you're not who I am? Well... Since you're definitively a part of me, and you're not going away... I'm going to have to force you out. You can't be in this world. You're fuckin crazy. You really are...
Youre a plague... and since you can't get out, you make me one, too. Don't you see that?
You hurt everyone I care about... My mom, dad, brothers, friends, boyfriend, etc. You ruin my relationships with people, and scare me away from my own thoughts. Youre the one that makes me hurt myself... you make me punish myself for what you have done... Can't you just leave me alone? Can I control my mind instead of you? You got me into my ditch, and I'm trying to get out... you keep pushing me back in. That's why I'm taking this chance.. I want to better the world, not make it worse, and theres too many people like you on this planet... which is why we don't need another. Don't worry... you'll be gone by tomorrow.. And I know youre scared.. And you call me the fuckin idiot. You call me the fuckin wimp. Just leave me alone. Let me be happy. and please stop destroying my life. Good bye to all and to all a good night.
<3

I WANT A BOYFRIEND THAT...

Loves me.
Has a good sense of humor.
is an adventurer.
Isn't bound and gagged by his parents, school, or society.
Thinks I'm pretty. :D
is SKINNY!
Smokes weed.
Isn't hxc.
Likes punk rawk.
Likes to go to shows regularly.
Is vegetarian.
Likes piercings.
Can Swim.
Thinks I have a smexy tummy. :D
IS SMEXY. :p
Has a big cock. >.>
Protects me.

contemplating
stuff right now
cutting again.
it's getting hard to hide now...
I'm going to start doing it on my thighs soon instead.
that should work... right?
I really need a box cutter... to make those nice skinny cuts that bleed a hell of a lot. Those are too nice.... ahhhh.... *sighs*

It's hard to dance with the devil on your back.

I should take more pictures of my poor arm. But not right now.

Contemplating to run away....
Home life is getting a lot fuckin worse than it was. I don't feel like explaining it, though, because I hate thinking about it. It's not a refuge here, it's a living hell.

I started to cut again too.... I'm hoping that I'll faint or maybe, if I'm lucky, actually die. Probably not though... I don't have my old box cutter. Only this dule xacto knife.


maybe I can be cliche and kill myself in the bathtub.


Well... Yeah... I'm going to be taking a lot of stupid chances now. You see, I think irrational. And that sucks, I guess...