I haven't been this depressed in awhile now. I'm really not pround of myself, you see. I don't know why though... I can't put a finger on what is making me feel so hopeless... I'm guessing it's a complete mixture of things. I hate sobbing for something I don't even know. I have this weird feeling every time that happens... it's not a feeling of freedom, it's a feeling of being trapped. I have a bubble around me, I suppose, that's making me feel this way. I really want to run out the door and rip all my clothes off and turn into the hulk... well, not really... I don't know how to explain how i feel... but it's mostly trapped. And I'm really fuckin scared. I'm usually scared of myself, which that could be the issue now, but I really don't know. I wish I can peal my skin back or something... or I wish feelings were tangible so I can just break them... Is that why I cut? I don't know... shit... I hate this feeling... It really freaks me out.